1000000 funniest IRC quotes

*o* · Post by ***o*** » Tue Jul 05, 2005 11:41 pm

i have a link for this....but it has swearing....is it ok to post?

oh well to bad

http://www.bash.org/?top

warning this is rated M......yuove been warned

Reploid Ayla · Post by **Reploid Ayla** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 12:03 am

pretty goofy

i actually laughed at a couple...

*o* · Post by ***o*** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 12:03 am

read all of the top 200 they are great

G-Prime · Post by **G-Prime** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 1:24 am

<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)

Thats grate

nos_slived · Post by **nos_slived** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 2:25 am

#330261 wrote:<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind

Couldn't resist.

Read #8102.

I have changed "fudge"(you know what I mean) to "crap" in the following. You may want to read it how it is supposed to be.

#13213 wrote:<Spazz> Seems like when I say "CRAP" you get an EOF error
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> crap
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> crap
<Spazz> crap
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Spazz> crap
<Bartolimis> stop
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> we're done >:)
<Ranto> hmh?
<Spazz> Your client got an error...
<Bartolimis> yeah, we're done saying crap
<Spazz> everytime we said f***
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Spazz> Quit saying crpa
<Bartolimis> my bad
<Spazz> crap*
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Icc> Someone says crap and he drops ?
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)

sam · Post by **sam** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 9:55 am

lol yeah, I read a bunch of those a while ago.

Post by **SpongeBuell** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 10:00 am

Me likey this one:

Code: Select all

<DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk
<DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first
<DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out
<DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh
<DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning?
<Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?
<DeadMansHand> holy copulate.
<DeadMansHand> i copulate hope im wrong about what im thinking right now
<DeadMansHand> im copulate going back to the beach to make sure
<DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this
<Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep crap.
quit: (DeadMansHand)
<Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you copulate. Ken's going to be worrying about this crap all day
<Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts
join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP)
<PeteRepeat> copulate ken
<PeteRepeat> ken... that copulate buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot
<quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.
<PeteRepeat> oh copulate.
<PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything.
quit: (PeteRepeat)
<Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.
<Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was

Post by **Gamelver** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 10:14 am

Lucretius · Post by **Lucretius** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 1:16 pm

<xpiromx> True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
<xpiromx> My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!
<xpiromx> There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.
<xpiromx> My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear.
<xpiromx> It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
<xpiromx> One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived.
<xpiromx> She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.
<xpiromx> She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
<xpiromx> I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.
<xpiromx> She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."
<xpiromx> I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.
<xpiromx> I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door.
<xpiromx> I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.
<xpiromx> My future father-in-law was standing outside.
<xpiromx> With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.
<xpiromx> We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.
<xpiromx> The moral of this story is: "Always keep your condoms in your car"

I laughed waaaay too hard...

nos_slived · Post by **nos_slived** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 1:40 pm

That was great! Do you know what number that was?

G-Prime · Post by **G-Prime** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 1:47 pm

http://www.bash.org/?104383
this is the best one

Trv · Post by **Trv** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 1:59 pm

G-Prime wrote:http://www.bash.org/?104383
this is the best one

Ive seen that before... Its pretty funny.

Lucretius · Post by **Lucretius** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 1:59 pm

http://qdb.us/45632 <--The number

G-force · Post by **G-force** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 2:00 pm

<Sui88> 67% of girls are stupid
<V-girl> i belong with the other 13%

Indeed....

#349567 +(6433)- [X]

Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh crap!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...

very nice

...

Lucretius · Post by **Lucretius** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 2:04 pm

Aw crap man, what would you do next?