A Modest Proposal

[Lucretius]

Believe it or not, it's not an idea pioneered by Jack-Ass Thompson. In fact it was a literary style originated by Johnathan Swift. It's purpose is to show the rediculousness of a situation by creating an even more outrageous solution. (Swift's was to deal with over population in Ireland by eating the children...) Mine is much less radical and much more applicable to modern times. And yes, it was an english class project...just tell me what you think.

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A Modest Proposal

Bad drivers. They’re everywhere. They back out of driveways and parking spots without looking. They engage their turning signal AFTER they turn. They talk on cell phones, speed on the highway, and race through four-ways stops. They almost seem to wait for the good drivers on a mission of “search and destroy.â€

[bioniclebert]

lol

some guy rear-ended our bus on the way home today. Ambulances, a fire truck, and a couple police cars, but thankfully, no injuries.

[Lucretius]

No injuries but lots of time wasting commotion? You lucky bum...

[Sparkfist]

Damn I thought this was going to be a discussion about that "A Modest Proposal", in which the author talks about cannablism of the children 12 and under of Irland. But alas that's not what this is about.

To the subject at hand. Yeah I know there are stupid people out there driving. Hell I was invloved in a three car accident where an old lady pulled out into traffic, and really didn't see that the lady infront of me was there. And it's really hard not to see someone coming when you're in a turn-around lane getting onto the west bound 2 lanes. Really she couldn't have missed.

However there is no way you're going to get people out or disposed of in any of those ways. If that were to happen I think we'd start with the life term criminals. That's what would be the best place to work with, after all they're just a drain on tax players.

[marshallh]

I, of course, will be exempt from this whole matter since I don’t drive…

Of course, that's what environmentalists say when "the world would be a better place if all humans died off, and nature could take over." Except, the environmentalist him/themselves would be exempt.

[bicostp]

I know what you mean. I drive a Saturn, and it really pisses me off when people (usually yuppie soccer moms on their cell phones) in huge Excursions and vans think they can tailgate and try to run me off the road. What, smaller cars aren't important?

One time I was turning right onto a main road (2 lanes in each direction) from a side road. A guy in a Silverado was turning left onto the same road. I stayed in the right lane, as you're supposed to, and he should have stayed in the left lane. He did, but for a brief moment. He started creeping over, and his truck got within about a foot of my mirror (he was right next to me). SO I'm leaning on the horn, almost hitting his door with my hand. He slams the brakes, fishtails around a little, and nobody got damage or injury. Silly people.

Another thing: I'm on the main road going to the college night course I'm taking. The speed limit is 55, I'm doing a little under 60. Poeple are tailgating and PASSING ME! Jeez isn't 5 over the speed limit enough?! (Of course I wind up stopping next to them at the next red light... )

[Triton]

thats nothing! we have a gravel road that is pretty smooth and straight going from tour school to agency (town near where i live) and i usually go 55-65 on it with no trouble but there are some real idiots at our school. one kid flipped his car on it doing NINTEY! on a gravel road for gods sake! and another guy, a frend of mine, passed me on this road one day, no big deal save i was going SIXTY FIVE! crazy!

[Sir Games-A-Lot]

Yesterday I heard on the radio that they caught a guy who they think is the fastest motor cycle speeder on record in my state. When they caught him and told him he was doing 155 his response was that he didn't think he wasn't going that fast only like 140 .

[Triton]

i saw a video online of a guy doing wheelies on a hyabusa streetbike, you can see the speedometer of the bike following him he was pulling wheelies aA HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-FIVE MILES PER HOUR!

[Fanboy]

I gotta say, Luc. This has to be the most insanely sane way of dealing with the bad driver problem... Next time me and my friend go riding around, we bring along the old skool sniper rifle !

PS: For your own dining pleasure, the rifle is dysfunctional, we bought it for 10$ at a thrift store... The thing looks real though ...

[Sparkfist]

We have a major highway about 30 minutes from where I live (I-75) where a few months ago the news reported people doing 100+ on it. I'd love to know how the hell you do that when that high way is not close to being a straight line. It bends and turns and to pull over 100 mph on it is insane.

Also the whole tailgating thing. I'm thinking of one of these days when someone is riding my tail pipe I'll throw the car in reverse and see what they do. Chances are if I'm willing to throw in in reverse I don't think they'd want to get too close, cause if I hit them it's their fault for being too close.

[sweetsuzuki]

how would you put the car in reverse? is it an automatic? cuz that's pretty hard in a manual. You wouldn't think it was very funny after your whiplash sets in and you have to pay for an accident you caused.

c'mon, there are so many better ways to deal with tailgaters, like slowing down to around 25 mph, and then speeding up when they get in front of you.

EDIT: If you have an automatic, and you put it in reverse, say bye bye to your transmission and possibly the entire drivetrain, including the motor.

[Sparkfist]

Well my solution is cheaper then another idea I had. And that one was to buy one of those LED sighs, and preprogram it with phrases like "Back off *explitive deleted*", "Don't make me stomp on the brake" and so on.

Also if you do drive an automatic, it it's a Chrysler from '95 or earlier you can go from Park to Reverse, to Neutral, to Drive without depressing the break. However if you are in motion, this will case the care to stop abruptly and stale.