The Clown Story

Lucretius · Post by **Lucretius** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 10:48 pm

In the rennisaunce, if you were the first borne child you'd inhert everything, and be loved by all, and learn your dad's trade. 2nd, you'd get some crap, and probably be apprenticed by your fathers friend...

3rd....you were copulate, and the only thing you could do was hope you had a good voice and join the church choir... Now little boys sing soprano, but older ones don't. So what do they do to keep your voice high?

Castrate you.

But even after that, all you have is a high, squeaky obnoxious voice... so the church would dissown you. You'd be living on the street, where by chance, you might be kidnapped by the circus. Now, you don't want to be there, but they don't want you to go. After all, who else is going to clean up after goiter boy, and retarded man? So to keep you from running away, you know what they'd do?

Slit the tendons behind you knee.

You can't run anywhere! Just waddle. Now they don't want you telling people who visit what going on, so how do they keep you silent?

They slit your cheeks.

All you can do is mumble. So here you are, squeeky voice, mumble worss, waddle legs....and horrifying face! Well they can't have you frightening off the audience.

So they paint a big red smile over your face

And that's where the waddling, happy, painted face clown came from.

HotDog-Cart · Post by **HotDog-Cart** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 10:52 pm

wow...but what does Castrate you mean?

Lucretius · Post by **Lucretius** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 10:54 pm

AAAAAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!

Post by **gannon** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 10:57 pm

I can't really remember, but from what I remember people say it's fun. Ask your parents if you can do it.

HotDog-Cart · Post by **HotDog-Cart** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 10:57 pm

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO O GODNOOOOOOOO HE CANT REPRODUCT NOOOO....lol

soundwave · Post by **soundwave** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 10:57 pm

If you were having eel for dinner, and in order to pass out the portions to your family members, you need to chop the eel in half. Now, what if that eel was your...

G-force · Post by **G-force** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 10:59 pm

Geez...I knew there was a reason clowns always had frowns painted on! Cause they were missing their fun bag.

Link89 · Post by **Link89** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 11:01 pm

Its like people rocky mountain oysters. If you odnt know what it means you could just GOOGLE it but that is a lot fo work. And that is really sad. But the world was a tough place back for the 1900s or eralier it is rough out there. Look up the spartans child hood, sodimy, death, survival of the fitest etc. rough world out there.

Post by **Sparkfist** » Sat Aug 20, 2005 7:47 am

Luc that has to be one if not the most sickening story I have read on these forums! I have to say I'm glad its not the Rennisaunce anymore. I'm the third (and last) of three boys, I'd be screwed.

G-force · Post by **G-force** » Sat Aug 20, 2005 11:44 am

See I'm the oldest and I loath my brothers 70% of the time, so that was a fun story for me to read. I'm sick.
Did they really do all that? It's not just a myth?

gamer2 · Post by **gamer2** » Sat Aug 20, 2005 11:49 am

From my mom im 3rd from my dad im 1st IM LOVED AND HATED if this was the renesance

demonofaj · Post by **demonofaj** » Sat Aug 20, 2005 12:19 pm

No wonder I always feared clowns. Wait a minute though. How about female clowns...?

It's not spam, it honestly is a question.

Post by **SpongeBuell** » Sat Aug 20, 2005 12:59 pm

sex change.

Link89 · Post by **Link89** » Sat Aug 20, 2005 1:47 pm

Women flat out didnt matter. You were lucky if you got soem money for giving her to some amn to marry. And I am third of 3 so it would have sucked a lot for me too. I would have just become someone else's apprenctice.