So stupid its funny

[Sparkfist]

I read the site that HK-47 linked to in the "Is it legal" thread (http://adequacy.org/public/stories/2001 ... .2147.html). I think this needs a thread of its own, on the off chance people do want to talk about it without taking over the other thread.

I go to the part about the books and when I saw "Programming with Perl" I know either this is one hell of a joke (which the comment further push me to) or the guy that wrote it is a complete retard.

P.S. AOL = Internet for Dummies

[bicostp]

WARNING RANT!!!!!
[rant]

8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?

BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.

OK, FIRST OFF, Linux is NOT an "illegal ahcker soperation system". It's a free open source operating system that is more compatible and faster than Windows. SECOND: His name is NOT "Linyous Toorovoltus", It's "Linus Torvalds". Here is the Wikipedia page about him Nether Mr. Torvalds nor Microsoft had ANYTHING to do with military intelligence. (MS was involved in the legal system with Netscape a while ago, but that's beside the point.) It is NOT absed on"xenix" or anything for that matter. Linux was written from scratch. "telenet" is an extremely old protocol rthat was used to connect mainframes together, and back in those days HOW THE HELL DID YOU CONNECT TO THE (then nonexistent ZING!) INTERNET WITHOUT A TELEPHONE?!

Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.

Linux is not a program that is installed on Windows, it is a whole seperate OS. And DUUUHHH, if you install another OS you usually don't have Windows on the same partition.

If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.

OK, let's set the recod straight. "lunix" does NOT EXIST!!! That's a misunderstanding of Linux, a completely safe free OS. In order to get rid of Linux, all you have to do is reformet. there is NO WAY a program can physically destroy a hard drive. And since it's completely seperate, there is no way Linux can put "LILO" at the DOS prompt at startup. This article leaves me in Stitches.

[/rant]

[mocking]
OH MY GOD theres a program called Photoshop on my computer and my son just put in an AMD processor OH MY GOD I GOTTA CALL THE FBI!
[/mocking]

It sounds like this guy is afraid of anything besides Intel and Microsoft. He would probably say Mac OS X is the apocolypse!

And it HAS to come from a cardboard box from CompUSA to be legit!

[teraflop122]

(begins reading)

...well that's wrong...and so is that...hey wait a min-

OH DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN WISHING DESTRUCTION ON US ALLL!!!!1!!1!!

If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.

Someone kill me now! How can someone be so RETARDED! GOD ALMIGHTY (pukes)

Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.

Hahahaha!

The article was very funny, but the comments are the best. Honestly I almost wet my pants with all the 'l33t sl4shd0ttaz' coming to 'the rescue'.

Honestly, where is peoples sense of humour these days!

Wit, folks. Remember you are just as dumb as our imaginary 'caring parent' if you leaped in with your critical posts.

Beautiful writing, the links were brilliant, and thanks, you dumb slashdotters for confirming your complete lack of sense, understanding, humour and brains.

Brilliant.
Hook, Line and Sinker.

Well....yeah...

[nos_slived]

Actually LILO is a bootloader like GRUB, and if set up properly, your first partition is LILO, so it does say that. I do, however, agree with every thing else you said, and I wish this guy was dead! Even if it was a joke, that is the crap that makes parents think their kid is breaking the law, just because he has a computer.

[G-Prime]

RANT AHEAD

OH MY...WTF! You have got to be kidding my, this guy know nothing of computers. I am a computer hacker...my dad dosn't care (as long as I don't get arressted that is). In fact no one cares...I tel teachers at my school when im gonna hack the schools computers so they can get on and watch

Your son will probably try to install some hacker software. He may attempt to conceal the presence of the software in some way, but you can usually find any new programs by reading through the programs listed under "Install/Remove Programs" in your control panel. Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".

If you don't remember installing somthing I think it might be spyware. Spyware is very rare but its alwasy a posability while your some spends all day getting around the AOL "safety filter" to get on Kazaa and Pr0no sites.

Also, Hmmm...I can't remember the last time I wanted to hack a website that I open up Flash or Bonzi Buddy, those programes are for kid hackers...I only use good hacking programs like Dream Weaver and Windows Media Player

Most American families use trusted and responsible Internet Service Providers, such as AOL. These providers have a strict "No Hacking" policy, and take careful measures to ensure that your internet experience is enjoyable, educational and above all legal. If your child is becoming a hacker, one of his first steps will be to request a change to a more hacker friendly provider.

I would advise all parents to refuse this request. One of the reasons your son is interested in switching providers is to get away from AOL's child safety filter. This filter is vital to any parent who wants his son to enjoy the internet without the endangering him through exposure to "adult" content. It is best to stick with the protection AOL provides, rather than using a home-based solution. If your son is becoming a hacker, he will be able to circumvent any home-based measures with surprising ease, using information gleaned from various hacker sites.

First off let me just say AOL SUCKS! It is slow as hell and that amazing "safty filter" don't work so good. Not only that...Don't all ISP go aginst Hacking.

Computer hackers are often limited by conventional computer hardware. They may request "faster" video cards, and larger hard drives, or even more memory. If your son starts requesting these devices, it is possible that he has a legitimate need. You can best ensure that you are buying legal, trustworthy hardware by only buying replacement parts from your computer's manufacturer.

If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.

Oh...yes the poor children that have to work day and night that make knock-off prossesers. I would use Intel...its just as a computer hacker I could never get around all the "security features". You have got to be kidding me, most stores don't sell any prossesors thats why he wan't to get it online. Not only that Intel chips arn't that grate...I like AMD better.

If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites. DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt" on other people's machines, and using it to tie up vital internet services. This can take up to eight hours. If your son is doing this, he is breaking the law, and you should stop him immediately. The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day.

You know what this just keeps getting better and better. their isn't much "Hacking" that you can do in DOS...in fact, the only type of hacking that I can think of is NET BIOS.

I don't feel like making fun of all 10 of them so ill skip right to the good part.

10. Is your son struggling academically?

If your son is failing courses in school, or performing poorly on sports teams, he may be involved in a hacking group, such as the infamous "Otaku" hacker association. Excessive time spent on the computer, communicating with his fellow hackers may cause temporary damage to the eyes and brain, from the electromagnetic radiation. This will cause his marks to slip dramatically, particularly in difficult subjects such as Math, and Chemistry. In extreme cases, over-exposure to computer radiation can cause schizophrenia, meningitis and other psychological diseases. Also, the reduction in exercise may cause him to lose muscle mass, and even to start gaining weight. For the sake of your child's mental and physical health, you must put a stop to his hacking, and limit his computer time drastically.

Yes this sums it up perfectly. This guy know everything. So thats why I can see good and my grades have been slipping...its the Electro Magnetic Radiation. If you want to keep you keeds from getting schizophrenia or meningitis you might want to keep your kids out of the sun...in rare cases the sun has occasionally been know to give off Electro magnbetic Radiation.

[Radon199]

If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this) There are many such hackers in schools today, and your son may have started to associate with them. If you notice that your son's group of friends includes people dressed like this, it is time to think about a severe curfew, to protect him from dangerous influences.

I've never laughed so hard in my life. Seriously now, that’s not a hacker, that’s just someone who is board with wearing striped ties and pocket protectors.

They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this)

Pacifiers... really now, I don't know anyone who would even conceder wearing one of these around their neck.

This dad obviously thinks about what his kids do a tad too much. Not to mention he’s sexist.

[nos_slived]

Not to mention he’s sexist.

You noticed that too, eh.

[Black Six]

Please tell me you guys are all kidding, right? If that wasn't a joke, I don't know what is. It's a spoof of how our society ignores problems until they get so bad something needs to be done, and instead of doing something blame as many people/things as they can, as long as it averts the responsibility from themselves. Yes, parents should become more interested in their children's lives, because while not every child is going to become a school-shooter, parents still have infinitely more experience and should be able to help their kids if need be. But instead they tend to ignore them. Articles like this mock all those parents who haven't been paying attention and therefore don't know that everything mentioned there is perfectly safe and legal. That guy deserves a pat on the back.

[S q u e e !]

Yay! Ten points for Black Six and me (or I)! Seriously, Black Six hit that nail on the head with his comment. I was going to post all that, but he beat me to it...

[Gamelver]

here's a comic of that guy (or, as B6 mentioned, the people he's mocking ):



btw, this comic is pretty funny ...I've been reading it a bit ever since cennar posted a link to one where the gamecube got shot or something ...

[daguuy]

edit.

[nos_slived]

http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/

Ethan was stabbed in comic #2, so why is he still here?!?!??!?!?!?1!!one!!1!1!!!1!?!questionmark?!?two?!?!

[G-force]

LOL that is just great! I don't know what is funnier, the site, or the way you guys reacted!
I gotta show this to my dad, hes gonna get a kick out of it....

[nos_slived]

I know that this guy thought this was a joke, but like I said, "that is the excrement that makes parents think their kid is breaking the law, just because he has a computer".

[peppers]

edit