Take that Microsoft!!

Post by **bicostp** » Sat Mar 19, 2005 9:34 am

OK. I've got another one.

Bill Gates and General Motors are in a meeting, discussing the future of the automobile industry. Gates turns to the head of GM and says "If I take over GM, we could all be driving 5 dollar cars that go a thousand miles before having to re-fuel." The GM exec's response? "Sorry. We don't want a car that will crash every 20 minutes."

Post by **SpongeBuell** » Sat Mar 19, 2005 9:36 am

I could've sworn that I once saw a more lenghty, funnier one like the car one

Post by **bicostp** » Sat Mar 19, 2005 9:44 am

Really? Somebody in my math class said it. I had never heard it before.

Post by **Sparkfist** » Sat Mar 19, 2005 1:51 pm

Yeah if I remember properly a Microsoft car is one that breaks down every couple tens of thousands (or less) miles, you cant fix the engine yourself as the hood is bolted shut.

Lucretius · Post by **Lucretius** » Sat Mar 19, 2005 4:37 pm

Sparkfist wrote:Yeah if I remember properly a Microsoft car is one that breaks down every couple tens of thousands (or less) miles, you cant fix the engine yourself as the hood is bolted shut.

An Apple car has the highest speed, the quickest acceleration, the coolest body, and can only drive on 15% of the roads.

FDSMAN · Post by **FDSMAN** » Sat Mar 19, 2005 5:34 pm

here's more microsoft sucking!

http://koti.mbnet.fi/coder/Taustakuvat% ... 20more.jpg

chicken strip · Post by **chicken strip** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 6:14 pm

M$ WinDOS EEEEWW! Yes, I have a Winblows... BUT I DON'T LIKE IT!
It makes me sick just thinking about it. OH FINALCUT PRO, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!

chicken strip · Post by **chicken strip** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 6:16 pm

ooh i used to have that 'we suck more' pik as my wallpaper a long time ago... befor ei reformatted my computer lol... its so hilarious having a windows with a wallpaper that says it sucks... meh... i trained it well, at least its honest =P

ever since ME and 2000 they really have sucked more lol

Post by **SpongeBuell** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 6:39 pm

ok, I found it... and I'm glad I did

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the car windows, shut it off, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this..

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought "CarNT," but then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would only run on 5% of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.

9. The airbag system would ask "are you SURE?" before deploying.

10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally Road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Dept.

12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

JackFrost22 · Post by **JackFrost22** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 6:41 pm

I don't get it you have to press start to shut windows off. Since when?
I just type

Code: Select all

shutdown-s

Post by **SpongeBuell** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 6:44 pm

how do you think most people turn off their Windows computers?

JackFrost22 · Post by **JackFrost22** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 6:48 pm

whoops wrong command

Code: Select all

shutdown /s
or
shutdown /r

I wouldn't know that much about windows cause Ihave used 3.1 the most and 95 only at school and i have always shut it down like that. Are you talking about the start button because even when I used 95 I barley used the GUI. Come to think of it I started using GUI with Linux about 3 years ago.

Post by **Sparkfist** » Tue Mar 22, 2005 10:42 am

I just love number nine that's listed.

I know there is another comparision that uses the airline indestry as the example. I'll look for it. Its funny has Mac, Windows, BSD, and linux, possibly more but thats all I remember.

HK-47 · Post by **HK-47** » Tue Mar 22, 2005 2:50 pm

^

Here are some basic descriptions of what may happen if airplanes had different operating systems running them.

DOS: Everybody pushes it till it glides, then jumps on and lets it coast till it skids, then jumps off, pushes, jumps back on, etc.

DOS with QEMM: Same as DOS, but with more leg room for pushing.

Macintosh: All the flight attendants, captains and baggage handlers look the same, act the same and talk the same. Every time you ask a question, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know and everything will be done for you without your knowing, so just shut up.

OS/2: To get on board, you have to have your ticket stamped 10 different times by standing in 10 different lines. Then you fill out a form asking how you want your seating arranged--with the look and feel of an ocean liner, a passenger train or a bus. If you get on board and off the ground, you will have a wonderful trip, except when the rudder and flaps freeze, in which case you have time to say your prayers before you crash.

Windows: Colorful airport terminal, friendly flight attendants, easy access to a plane, and an uneventful takeoff. Then, all in a sudden, boom! You blow up without any warning whatsoever.

NT: The terminal and flight attendants all look like those the Windows plane uses, but the process of checking in and going through security is a nightmare. Once aboard, those passengers with first class tickets can go anywhere they want and arrive in half the time, while the vast majority of passengers with coach tickets can't even get aboard.

Unix: Everyone brings one piece of the plane. Then they go on the runway and piece it together, all the while arguing about what kind of plane they're building.

CAIRO: The airplane is distributed among 47 different hangars in 13 airports scattered over 8 states, 4 Canadian provinces, and a remote mountain hideaway in Nicaragua. But you don't need to know where the airplane is or who it belongs to in order to fly it. Actually, you don't fly the airplane itself; you fly a simulation that behaves just like the real thing except that you don't go anywhere. But that's okay, because when the world is at your fingertips you never need to leave home.

CowboyX · Post by **CowboyX** » Tue Mar 22, 2005 6:14 pm

ok heres the thing, all OSs suck! the only thing that makes windows good is the title(BTW Bill Gates invented DOS you idiot) and Linux is good but only 3rd in line for the windows users. Mac is the same crap for 20 years! and there in 2nd. Lindows sucks never buy it. and oodles of other OSs are available that no one (not even the creators) know the names too them