Can anybody write this for me? (star wars)

[blackbox_dev]

Just so you know, this is for my friend who wants to make a fan film:

The scrolling text at the start of Star Wars (yes, a star wars fan film). The basic story line is Jedi v.s. "spuffin". Spuffin are kind of sith, except with special powers that allow them to cook food within the power of their imagination. Doing this is known as using the 'sporce'. The spuffin are evil, and the Jedi need to rescue a Jedi (we haven't come up with names yet) who knows the coordinates of a - get this, a DINNER FORK, which every Spuffin is vulnerable to. This jedi was taken hostage by the Spuffin Lord. There is another Jedi who knows where he is, and needs to go save him so we can get to other parts of the movie.

Leave the names blank or make them up, we havn't come up with real names yet. Also, please be serious with this, but not TOO serious because its supposed to be a funny kind of movie. Finnaly, if I left anything out you need info for, feel free to make it up. We're going to base the movie off of whatever this text is, so have fun!

Thanks 'yall! (My friend will thank ya too!)