Why Chuck norris is King

[gamer2]

Facts about Chuck Norris:

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul
back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he
should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of
the month.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been
there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked
names for his left and right legs.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK
assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard,
deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15
cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of
cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris
you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of
"beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous
of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have
Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse
kick related deaths.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.

Chuck Norris can piss into gale force winds.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided
to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a
beard

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed
by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick.
When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the
courage to tell him.

Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger, it is actually a
list of people that Chuck Norris round house kicked in the face that day

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only
a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had
to pay taxes ever.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris
did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on
Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His
reasoning? It was more "humane".

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that
can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On
July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere,
streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An
embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a
beer.

If Mr. T and Chuck Norris got in a fight thier awesomeness would cancel each other out and the Universe would have an orgasmn

[sam fisher]

laughed for ages about the nasa one!

[Turbo Tax 1.0]

did you get this off one of those sites that does this kinda thing for almost every body my brother had one in his aim profile about vin deisel it was pretty funny too

[HK-47]

I've been hearing those lately. Its kind of annoying really...

[gannon]

Me too

[cowsgoquack101]

*Peter Griffin* he he he he he

[marshallh]

Anything is better than the "Your Mom" jokes that have been worn out way too much... These aren't so bad.. yet

[bioniclebert]

John stamos' abs can glow in the dark.
(thats one of many)