Screw my unborn child and call me satan! CrazyZombie article

Ben Cebhrem · Post by **Ben Cebhrem** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 10:24 pm

I have 37 different zombie plans. In all but 36 of them, I use the people around me as human shields; in the last one I purposefully get myself infected so I can eat their delicious brains.

Rekarp · Post by **Rekarp** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 5:06 am

Most of my plans involve using the fact that zombies can't swim. Sailboat anyone?

Squintus · Post by **Squintus** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 3:24 pm

They can't swim, but (in theory), they could shamble along the ocean/sea floor until it takes them back over the surface.

As for a sailboat, you would need a rather large boat to hold enough supplies to hold out for any length of time, as well as keeping it hidden enough before setting sail from other survivors. Wouldn't want to get your boat swamped by a bunch of panicky humans.

Kurt_ · Post by **Kurt_** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 4:03 pm

You're also assuming that zombies are living DEAD. In reality, an actual zombie attack would involve "dead" living, or people who never died but have been mutilated mentally by some contagious means beyond repair, with only basic human killing instinct remaining, or, more likely, a type of mad cow disease, where the infected just go psycho crazy with bloodlust, losing most but not all rational thoughts. This means that they very well might be able to swim, carry/use weapons (if only blunt whacking ones), and climb.

palmertech · Post by **palmertech** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 4:58 pm

True, but I do not think that they would retain the ability to sail a boat. Not fast, at least.

Also, there are lots of people who sail for 6 months or more on a boat, solo. And they are working hard, and need lots of food. If you just went out a bit, anchored down, and played videogames, you could last a REALLY long time.

Of course, you could also make your way to a deserted island with no other previous human life, and begin anew there.

If this is a distance covering airborne disease, you could always hi-jack a space shuttle.

Aguiluz · Post by **Aguiluz** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 1:01 am

Well, I'd hop on an airplane and fly away if there is any remotest possibility it happens!

mdp872105 · Post by **mdp872105** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 2:10 am

This needs to be part of the high school, you never know when the sh*t will hit the fan. Also take note I will be saving up for a private island in the middle of a deep lake just in case.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVnfyradCPY

DSFARGEG · Post by **DSFARGEG** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 3:44 am

Anyone up for hijacking the International Space Station?

Post by **Black Six** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 8:00 am

DSFARGEG wrote:Anyone up for hijacking the International Space Station?

You need to think about sustainability. The ISS constantly needs new parts to keep it working, as well as food and other supplies. You're not going to last very long there.

Kyo · Post by **Kyo** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 9:03 am

can't you just pretend you're a zombie? or dead?

zombies don't eat dead people, right?

DK · Post by DK » Tue Dec 23, 2008 10:00 am

Kyo wrote:can't you just pretend you're a zombie? or dead?

zombies don't eat dead people, right?

I'm putting a guess that the zombies will be able to smell humany pheremones released by the living and target them. Is a technique that would be much more suited to their more feral and instinct based minds.

Kyo · Post by **Kyo** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 12:29 pm

zombies are still humans, so they don't posess any superhuman skills

grossaffe · Post by **grossaffe** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 2:29 pm

Kyo wrote:zombies are still humans, so they don't posess any superhuman skills

It changes the way their brain works and interprets data. Pheromones are meant to attract the other sex, but it wouldn't be a stretch to say that the zombified brain could reinterpret pheromones to mean "eat me"

Kurt_ · Post by **Kurt_** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 4:01 pm

The Zombie Survival Guide states,

"Never forget that the body of the undead is, for all practical purposes, human.... There is no way a zombie could fly unless the human it used to be could fly.... The most likely, if unproven, explanation is that zombies depend on all of their senses equally."

Kyo · Post by **Kyo** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 4:05 pm

he makes a fair point, though. You know how your other senses increase once you go blind?