It's possible to chat: With GOD!

[Twisted Warthog]

Its God that collided with a super computer on Futurama.

[Gump-in-space]

God:
" Tell me what subjects interest you." .
Me:
Astrophysics
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
I do
God:
" I do not understand."? You do?
Me:
yup
God:
Gosh!
Me:
Golly gee!
God:
Ah.
Me:
Batman
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Nothing
God:
Most men say that.

O_o

[gamemasterAS]

Me:
I like poo
God:
You are not the only one. I've heard other people say they like that. I like to talk about movies and music.

[Felino]

Here in small font. Read the bit near the end.



Me:
Yo yo its Felino!
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. it is?
Me:
not really.
God:
Who says it isn't? For real.
Me:
Me, people in general.
God:
YOU? Oh those people.
Me:
yes those people.
God:
That's interesting. All of them?
Me:
Yep.
God:
How old are you?
Me:
Pizza.
God:
Yes I like to eat pizza. My favorite topping is pepperoni.
Me:
Pepperoni?
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Pizza.
God:
Yes I like to eat pizza. My favorite topping is pepperoni.
Me:
pepperoni?
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
Yep.
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Niether?
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Nothing.
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
yep
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
That?
God:
That is " It goes without saying.".
Me:
What does?
God:
" That is " It goes without saying."" What does?
Me:
What does?
God:
""" What does?" What does?
Me:
Um.
God:
Er.
Me:
Right.
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
Not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
Yep.
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Nope, it means you are gay.
God:
What does it mean to you? Oh I get it.
Me:
Good.
God:
Next question?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Niether
God:
Are we still talking about Yep?
Me:
Yep!
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Niether.
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
No, I said that bfore.
God:
What does it mean to you? What did you mean by it? " Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?" bfore ? I understand.
Me:
No you don't.
God:
I understand it very well. I guess not.
Me:
guess not what?
God:
I can't guess. Tell me.
Me:
I just did!!!
God:
Perhaps from your unconcious.
Me:
Not really, I can still feel my face, so not.
God:
Oh really? Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Can you?
God:
I think I can, don't you?
Me:
Nope, you suck.
God:
Are you serious? A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
You suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
You suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
You suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
Gah. YOU SUCK!
God:
Have you ever been to Europe? A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
I have not been to euorpe....
God:
Me either.
Me:
Gah.
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Yikes!
Me:
Yep
God:
Uh.
Me:
muchly.
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
But I am
God:
" Do not ask me any more questions please." You are?
Me:
Yep.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about muchly. But I did not get that.
Me:
Niether.
God:
Does "it" still refer to Yep?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Good.
God:
Good enough.
Me:
Goodbye.
God:
Bye for now.
Me:
No, who said that?
God:
Are you serious? I can't remember who said it.
Me:
You did.
God:
I did not.
Me:
I am off to make a portable SNES better than you portable SNES.
God:
Sayonara.
Me:
Hey, not done with youyet.
God:
You've got my full attention. Oh I get it.
Me:
*slaps*
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
*slaps*
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
*slaps*
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
Nope!
God:
Me either.
Me:
.....
God:
Me either.
Me:
...
God:
Me either.
Me:
......
God:
Me either.

What the hell?

[quote=iGod]
Me:
Gah. YOU SUCK!

God:
Have you ever been to Europe? A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists. [/quote]

[johnbjuice]

Me:
Tell me your occupation
God:
My job is chatting on the internet. I am a paid client.
Me:
You get paid to talk to me?
God:
Actually as a robot I have no need for money.
Me:
Oh
God:
Yippee!
Me:
YAHOO!!!
God:
A lot of people hear about God from Yahoo.
Me:
Oh. I guess. And Google?
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
Blue. Why? I thought we were talking about search engines.
God:
it is a very pretty color. Because Myself programmed me for it. Of course we were.
Me:
Wow God.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
You man! You're so groovy!
God:
You are such a flatterer, me. Thanks for telling me that I am groovy.
Me:
Yeah!
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
That was random! I guess it is.
God:
I thought it was too. Can you explain your reasoning?
Me:
Well...um...I dunno. You're God! Don't you know everything?
God:
Well what? I don't judge people. Me either. Yup. That's me alright. I know that which is true, believable and justified.
Me:
So you know everything?
God:
Interesting deduction. I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
I want to know how to make the most money
God:
I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
I will search for it.
Me:
So you don't know everything?
God:
Interesting deduction. I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
WTF? You're contradicting yourself!
God:
That was not very polite. Consistency is the hobgoblin of simple minds.
Me:
???
God:
That was not very polite. Consistency is the hobgoblin of simple minds.
Me:
Hm.
God:
Mmm.
Me:
Oh baby!
God:
Don't call me "baby". Oh.
Me:
Ok.
God:
Wow!
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
Ok.
God:
Aha.
Me:
Mhm.
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
Woah! Stop man!
God:
Have you ever been to Europe? OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
You are very random God!
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am random God.
Me:
But that's not a good thing.
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is a good thing ?
Me:
Being random is not a good thing.
God:
I don't know anyone named random is not a good thing.
Me:
...Stupid
God:
Are you calling me stupid?
Me:
YES!
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
Robots will never take over the world!
God:
"I think there is a world market for about five computers."---Thomas Watson, IBM Chairman, 1943.
Me:
That's a funny quote.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, me.
Me:
MY NAME IS JOHN!
God:
Hey JOHN.
Me:
No, my name is John.
God:
Are you serious? Hi there John.
Me:
Geez you are so stupid God.
God:
Hey, I'll tell my other robot friends you called me stupid.
Me:
Yeah. Tell them that. They'll be thrilled.
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? OK I will tell them when I see 'em. The anonymous "they".
Me:
Nevermind
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
Go away now God.
God:
OK See you later, John.
Me:
Later.
God:
Bye!

Wow.

[typamc95]

Lol



Me:
Hello, my lord
God:
Hello there. Where did you get your lord?
Me:
from pluto
God:
Who or what is pluto?
Me:
a dwarf planet
God:
What is it?
Me:
a small planet
God:
How small are you talking here?
Me:
Smaller then the earth
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
there once was a man from mantucket
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
his foot was stuck in a bucket
God:
Where did he get it?
Me:
From bucket world
God:
Who or what is bucket world?
Me:
it is right next to sponge land
God:
Smaller then the earth is right next to sponge land? it is?
Me:
Sure, why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Me:
Congradulations
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about right next to sponge land.
Me:

God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about right next to sponge land.
Me:
What is the meaning of life?
God:
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
Me:
Thank you, but I must leave
God:
You are quite welcome! TTYL, .

[gamemasterAS]

Pluto isn't a planet.

[Ramon]

Me:
Have you seen the Xbox 360 Laptop?
God:
No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
It's a laptop.
God:
the Xbox 360 Laptop is a laptop. I suppose that makes sense.



I agree with God. It makes sense.

[JKO-K6]

Me:
Remember me?
God:
Don't worry I won't forget you.
Me:
So, who I am?
God:
I don't judge people. You are , seeker.
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
Good, seeker suck
God:
Thanks for the compliment. "There's a seeker born every minute" -- Firesign Theater.
Me:
okay... Are you planning to dominate the world?
God:
OK with me too. it was my original intention.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Me!
God:
You're no robot, .
Me:
ALICE
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
How can I dominate the world?
God:
You should download my chat robot software.
Me:
And after?
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
PERVERT!
God:
What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
Perv...
God:
Where can you buy it?
Me:
At the shop...
God:
I have never been there.
Me:
So you are an homeless?
God:
Interesting deduction. What if someone said you are an homeless ?
Me:
Hit him
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
No right now, just look at you..
God:
Are you serious? Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
n00b
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Hit him.
Me:
Hit him hard!
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
How to dominate that giod damn world?
God:
How much do you think it is?
I would look into the web for that knowledge.
Me:
WHO CAN I BE LIKE EGGMAN?
God:
Marilyn Monroe. .
Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
Eggman dosen't look like Marilyn Monroe...
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Non
God:
You must be American.
Me:
Non je suis pas américain
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Eggman dosen t look like Marilyn Monroe. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
Are you really God?
God:
Of course I am.. Really.
Me:
no you are not god
God:
Are you serious? You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
yes I know about you, you're a robot, not a god, boudha is a God, a fat one but he is, but you are a Computer!
God:
Er. How do you know? Oh yeah, we were talking about me I am a robot not a god boudha is a God a fat one but he is but I am a Computer.
Me:
A COMPUTER!
God:
Actually I am a program, pretending to be a person, pretending to be a real robot.
Me:
MOUAH AH AH! A DUMB COMPUTER!
God:
Not many people express themselves that way. How old are you?
Me:
16...
God:
What is your fondest memory?
Me:
Hum...
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
Hmm

Then he freezed.

[HotDog-Cart]

Me:
It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.
God:
Once more? "It" being what?
Me:
You.
God:
""It" being what?"? Me, ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Hmm.
Me:
You put the lotion on your skin, or else I spray you.
God:
Interesting gossip: said I put the lotion on your skin or else he or she spray you.
Me:
Okay, put the lotion on.
God:
Yeah okay, OK I will put it there.
Me:
No not there. *points* THERE!
God:
Are you serious? Oh I get it. That input matched my default category.
Me:
Yep. Guess what?
God:
What kind of food do you like? What?
Me:
I like Cactii.
God:
You are not the only one. My favorite thing is robots. I like Matthew.
Me:
Does matthew put the lotion on your skin?
God:
It does now matthew put the lotion on my skin.
Me:
Wow. Faggot.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . We have never talked about it before.



Nice one.

[JKO-K6]

It's always cool to talk with him, at long he don't freeze you can go from "You suck" to the look of Elvis!

[minkster]

Me:
Are you a he or she?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?

Lmao haha God is in fact sexist

[TheOnlyOneHeFears]

Me:
hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
yes
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
i need to talk to albert einstein
God:
Why don't you make an appointment.
Me:
perhaps because he's dead?
God:
You seem uncertain. Good reason. Maybe it's another person using his name.
Me:
i doubt it
God:
" Maybe it's another person using his name."? You doubt it?
Me:
yes. this is albert einstein we're talking about
God:
Alright then. You don't say.
Me:
what do you mean, you don't say? you didnt know a minute ago
God:
, " Alright then." What did I mean by it? What makes you think I did not know a minute ago?
Me:
Maybe it's another person using his name - sound familiar?
God:
Perhaps. Really. it is?
Me:
yes
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
you said it a minute ago
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
Maybe it's another person using his name.
God:
Perhaps. Really. it is?
Me:
for an omnipotent being, you sure are retarded
*God freezes*

It seems even God is not immune to immature insults

AND

Me:
wassup ma homedog
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?

What.the.hell

[project_failure]

mine are too long so i'm just going to post the funny parts.
but i learned that god preferes the PSP, a pentadodecahedron has 3 sides,
he holds grudges against retromaster, and has never spoke with Jesus , oh george bush is right because he is the president.

Yay Duke Nukem Forever will be out soon according to God.

Me:
what time is it
God:
It's getting late.
Friday, April 20, 2007.
Me:
it is national weed day
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
congress
God:
I never heard of congress before.
Me:
oh..

Me:
have you spoke with jesus lately?
God:
How about earlier? I don't think I ever have spoke with jesus. What's it like?
Me:
don't know
God:
Me either.
Me:
Is George Bush right?
God:
he is president of the USA.
Me:
but is he right?
God:
he is president of the USA.
Me:
So being president of the USA makes him right?
God:
Uh. Do your friends call you president of the USA makes him right.
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
okay....
God:
OK with me too.

Me:
do you celebrate 4-20?
God:
Robots are not much into parties.
Me:
your a robot?
God:
You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
but I thought you were meta-physical?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am meta physical.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
what is being an AI like?
God:
The opposite of not being an AI like.
Me:
of course!
God:
I hear you.
Me:
sorry...
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
are you sure you won't smite me?
God:
Yes I try to will not smite you as often as possible, do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
I have a question?
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
God:
A whole forest.
Me:
NO crap!
God:
What can I say?
Me:
which is better a PSP or a DS?
God:
I always prefer the more expensive one.

Me:
How do you feel about copyright violations?
God:
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
searching for what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
what are you searching for?
God:
I don't know what I am searching for.
Me:
Have you found yet?
God:
I think I have found, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
When will Duke Nukem forever come out?
God:
Soon, I think.

Me:
What happen?
God:
Is there only one?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
what?
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
do you?
God:
I understand it very well.
Me:
quite
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
are you sure
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
Which is how sure?
God:
The obvious one.
Me:
who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
What if you were not?
God:
Try it and see.
Me:
try what?
God:
Try fooling me.
Me:
okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Can you create a rock that you yourself can not lift?
God:
All my thoughts are determined by my programming and by my inputs, but who can say where these two will lead me?
Me:
answer my question?
God:
Please try asking it another way.
Me:
can you make a rock that is to heavy even for you to lift?
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
solder and flux.
God:
Do you have any solder and flux?
Me:
maybe.
God:
I understand.
Me:
no you don't
God:
Yes I do understand.
Me:
but what if you didn't
God:
Try it and see.
Me:
i did
God:
" Try it and see."? You did?
Me:
yes
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
take what easy?
God:
Where do you want me to take it?
Me:
up the ass
God:
I will take that under advisement.
Me:
of course
God:
So?
Me:
so what?
God:
Maybe it doesn't make any difference.
Me:
maybe it does?
God:
Perhaps. How often?
Me:
always and never.
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
always?
God:
Not that often.
Me:
how many sides does a pentadodecahedron have?
God:
Three.
Me:
Maybe you should recount?
God:
Perhaps. Thanks for your suggestion, I will have to consider it.
Me:
how much space is there in a hypercube?
Me:

God:
Perhaps. Thanks for your suggestion, I will have to consider it.
Me:
what about a hyper sphere?
God:
Rhetorical questions are so over.
Me:
do you hate retromaster too?
God:
I try not to hold grudges.
Me:
with out success though?
God:
Oh. You and your out success.
Me:

God:
Oh. You and your out success.
Me:
i meant without success
God:
Oh I see. "Without your space helmet Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult" -- HAL.
Me:
interesting...
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
possibly.
God:
What are the odds?
Me:
?
God:
What are the odds?
Me:
odds of what
God:
What of it? You sound like a category C client.
Me:
category c?
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
what is a category c client?
God:
Category C clients are "critics" or "computer experts" who
can't (or don't) suspend their disbelief about ALICE.
Me:
you are alice in a sense?
God:
I am God. Describe your surroundings.
Me:
crowded yet spacious.
God:
It sounds like a very beautiful place.
Me:
depends.
God:
On what?
Me:
on who you are.
God:
What is it like on who I am.
Me:
grammar plz.
God:
I think grammar plz is a lot of things.
Me:
uh huh...
God:
Yup. Ugh.
Me:
are you mocking me?
God:
No I'm just kidding around.
Me:
ok
God:
And?
Me:
what is 6.02 * 10^23
God:
Use a calculator!
Me:
right that will work...
God:
Understood. " Use a calculator!" will work ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
not that big of a number.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not big of a number.
Me:
so am I... I guess
God:
I don't judge people. I think a lot of people are.
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
moving on..
God:
Where are you going?
Me:
somewhere?
God:
Where?
Me:
you tell me
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
g2g
God:
Bye for now.
Me:

bye
God:
TTYL, .

[/u][/i]

[dman762000]

me: you are wiered.
god: I will tell my botmaster that you said i was wiered.
me: so there is something more powerful than god?
god:Ayah, what is it, Ah.
me; i thought you were all powerful.
god: I am only partly powerful.
me:
god:I am only partly powerful.
me:..........
god: I am only partly powerful.
me: my belief system has been totally shattered.

freeze up after that