It’s time for Movie Prediction Madness, a new column in which I fill up my under-utilized blog with predictions on the coming weekend’s top new movies! Let’s go!
#1 Maraduke
Who cares if they reviews say this is going to be crap on a stick? People love dogs, and people love Owen Wilson when associated with dogs (“Marley & Me”) plus moviegoers don’t read reviews anyway (sorry reviewers but it’s the only way to explain Transformer 2’s $400 mil haul). “Maraduke” also has the “mental real estate” of being an unfunny comic (yes I know that’s redundant) in every Sunday paper since the Nixon administration, so people know of it.
Thus “Maraduke” will win the weekend, barely beating out “Shrek 4: DVD Babysitter” for the top spot. Normally I wouldn’t expect a movie like this to make money, but those damn “Chipmunks” movies have been raking in the bucks so why not?
#2 Killers
Keep in mind, #2 of the new releases. “Killers” won’t top “Shrek” for the weekend but will probably squeeze out $20 million or so before limping off to Red Box oblivion. While the premise of “girl meets guy meets guns” won’t work here, I could see Tom Cruise pulling it off later this month with “Knight and Day” because – say what you will about him – he picks good scripts and will give it the right amount of crazy (versus Ashton Kutcher smug) to make it work.
#3 Splice
This movie actually looks kind of interesting but since it’s not a “reboot” of a tired old franchise might only make $15-$20 mil despite the heavy advertising. If it actually connects with audiences I could see it picking up a little steam and sticking around, “Date Night” style (the movie that just won’t die!)
Old Releases
“Iron Man 2: The Actionless Sequel” will continue its trajectory to make less than the original, which is appropriate since it’s less good. “Shoe Shopping Adventure 2” will continue its slide into underperformace, but probably still eek out “Prince of Persia’s” second weekend since I highly doubt undersexed 40-somethings will have any interest in Killers.
Ewww… Marmaduke… at least as far as the comic goes, it’s like the guy isn’t even trying to be funny.
“Oh Marmaduke… you’re too BIG for that little car!”… with a picture of Marmaduke in a sports car, and his head sticking out the sunroof.
That’s it. For the last (literally) 56 years.
“Oh Marmaduke… you’re too BIG for that little doghouse!”
“Oh Marmaduke… you’re too BIG for that little sweater!”
“Oh Marmaduke… you’re too BIG for that little…!”
i can’t wait for Shoe Shopping Adventure 3D!
You completely forgot/ignored “Get Him to the Greek”. That will definitely be in the top 3.
Marmaduke. I really hope you’re wrong about that one. Sure it might be a dog movie, but Marley and Me sure as hell didn’t have any talking dogs. At least it’s Owen Wilson.
Why Marmaduke?! Didn’t they already make this movie? It was called Beethoven.
Talk about bad picks. I have no idea who thought it would be a good idea to do a Marmaduke film. You might as well do a movie based on Hi And Lois, or perhaps Mary Worth. The comics that nobody reads, and yet they manage to always take up valuable space on the ever shrinking funny pages.
Yep, Shrek wins again and like Jones said, Get Him to the Greek did pretty well too. You were basically right about Killers, but Marmaduke apparently didn’t do very well.
…thank god.
splice was one of the worst movies ever made
I wouldn’t expect a movie like this to make money, but those damn “Chipmunks” movies have been raking in the bucks so why not?