Sorry Konami.

"This is Ben. Can you read me?"

"Loud and clear, Ben. If you want to enter the shop, you're gonna have to contend with guards and devious traps!"

"Yawn. Shouldn't be a problem."

"You have to be careful, Ben!"

"........."

"Ben, I'm serious!"

"Ok, let's see... Well, a bribe has worked before, and I have some other tricks up my sleeve as well. Wish me luck!"

"Luck."

High atop a craggy cliff...

Not to be affiliated with the REAL Minute Rice...

Rice Tossing - New at the 2004 Olympic Games

Kids - If you find Rice laying on the ground, ask your parents to check it before eating it

3 MINUTES LATER...

Friends don't let Friends eat Poisoned Rice

Cool, night vision!

  "This is Ben. I'm inside the shop..." 

"Good work, Ben! But watch out! There are invisible beams in there. If you trip a beam, it can cause instant death! It's even worse than that rice you used!" 

"Don't worry. I know how to make the beams visible... Kids, don't try this at home."

Alanis Morissette knows this feeling 

"No luck with that! Any ideas?"

"Do you have any old Ataris with you?"

 "Um, a couple, why?... WAIT A MINUTE!"



...cough.... cough....

"I can see the beams in the dust! I'll be able to thwart them easily now! Proceeding into shop..."

 "Roger that. Check your 10-WD40 alpha 5 at 38.9 clicks due east of the persaro glick quadrant pursuant to bravo tango checkpoint in reference to backup position robo-sentries in sector one based off initial data backup download file transfer protocol recon gleamed from satellite data, then cross-reference with isotropic relay scans of surrounding flora vegetation patterns based off target demographics in relation to wholesale trends while synchronizing field data of initial infiltration/and/or slash infiltrations (whichever may apply) procedure(s) based off average mean expenditure of tainted rice products with special consideration for the bit rate of reduced instruction-set infrastructure socket sets written on special paper with cuttlefish ink."

 

"Already did it."

"You're the man."  

Well, everything's OK now...

 "I made it to the Router Room! I'm home free!"

"Good work, Ben. Age hasn't slowed you down one bit."

"Um... right. Catch ya later!"


Routing Fundamentals (Without the 'FUN')