BenHeck Facts

Kyo · Post by **Kyo** » Sat Oct 13, 2007 2:33 pm

Ben once ate a power glove. The Wii is what came out on the other end.

Shadeslayer · Post by **Shadeslayer** » Sat Oct 13, 2007 4:38 pm

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of video game systems Ben Heck has portablized.

Ben has two speeds. Drink beer and solder.

Ben Heck doesn't shave. He solders his hairs off.

Ben heck once drank a 24 pack of beer. It made him twitch.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. Chuck Norris wears Ben Heck pajamas.

Ben Heck had an idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know it today as Captain Morgan.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every successful portable, there is Ben Heck.

geekdude3 · Post by **geekdude3** » Sat Oct 13, 2007 8:53 pm

Benheck dosent worry about nintendo screws, they jump out in fear when he gets close to them.

Post by **Sparkfist** » Sun Oct 14, 2007 7:47 pm

The Intellivison is so bad Ben wont even consider touching.... "Unclean, unlcean"

Ben's Commodore laptop is so awesome he's worried people will die from shock if unprepared.

theelk · Post by **theelk** » Sun Oct 14, 2007 9:48 pm

Kyo wrote:Ben once ate a power glove. The Wii is what came out on the other end.

It smelled like onion rings.

Post by **Gamelver** » Sun Oct 14, 2007 10:21 pm

hmmm....so now he's just Ben Heck

? What happened to the "endorn" (or the "jamin J.", for that matter)?

anyway...

Ben.....portablized Chuck Norris

!

Website · Post by **Life of Brian** » Mon Oct 15, 2007 12:24 am

Kyo wrote:Ben once ate a power glove. The Wii is what came out on the other end.

That's freaking hilarious!

NexusOne · Post by **NexusOne** » Mon Oct 15, 2007 3:08 pm

gamer2 wrote:When a CD-i asked Ben to portableize it. Benheck drove a soldering iron through its chassis. Proving the idea, Not all are fit for perfection.

Nah, Ben would inform the cdi that Goldstar and Phillips have already done it.

I happen to own one of these. I have the Goldstar GPI 1200, The Phillips CDI 370 is the same thing just rebadged.

Kurt_ · Post by **Kurt_** » Mon Oct 15, 2007 3:14 pm

Ben once ate a power glove. The Wii is what came out on the other end.

Way to be constipated!

Rekarp · Post by **Rekarp** » Mon Oct 15, 2007 4:43 pm

When Ben sees an Atari, he doesn't just walk pass it. He portablizes it, without thinking, on the spot. Where there is no turning back.

When Ben portablizes a dreamcast, it won't be because he is wants to. It will be because he has run out of Ataris.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Ben has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in lead and beer.

On his birthday, Ben randomly selects one lucky Colecovision to be thrown into the sun.

A man once asked Ben if his real name is "BenHeck". Ben did not respond, he simply stabbed him in the eye with a soldering iron.

Ben can drink an entire keg of beer in thirty-seven seconds.

Ben can touch MC Hammer.

Ben drinks beer and craps Ataris. Then, he uses the Ataris to make portables, which he then sells to buy more beer. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."

When Ben walks into a Lowes Hardware Store it instantly becomes Ace.

Once Ben brought a dying dreamcast back to life by nuzzling it with his soldering iron. As the onlookers gathered, the dreamcast sprang to life. Ben then poured beer on it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Ben giveth, and the good Ben, he taketh away.

There are no winners of console wars, just consoles that Ben likes.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Ben could portablize, including the room itself.

Ben built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Ben met all three bullets with his soldering iron, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Ben can do it with hot glue alone.

Ben always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

gamer2 · Post by **gamer2** » Mon Oct 15, 2007 5:37 pm

Benheck uses Solder to spice up his steaks.

Benheck drives an Cement truck covered in Atari shells.

Benheck once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes porablizing an Atari

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Benheck made that wine into MGD

Post by **Triton** » Mon Oct 15, 2007 6:35 pm

nexusone wrote:I happen to own one of these. I have the Goldstar GPI 1200, The Phillips CDI 370 is the same thing just rebadged.

wanna sel it?

On his birthday, Ben randomly selects one lucky Colecovision to be thrown into the sun.

hahhaha!

Website · Post by **Life of Brian** » Mon Oct 15, 2007 7:05 pm

Rekarp FTW!

benol · Post by **benol** » Mon Oct 15, 2007 7:48 pm

Step 1. Take anything from chucknorrisfacts.com
Step 2. Replace any instance of "Chuck" or "Chuck Norris" with "Ben"
Step 3. Replace any instance of "kill" with "portabalize"
Step 4. Replace any instance of "foot" or "kick" with "soldering iron"

Examples:

Guns don't portabalize people. Ben portabalizes People.

Ben doesn't go hunting.... BEN GOES PORTABALIZING

Ben once portabalized someone so hard that his soldering iron broke the speed of light, went back in time, and portabalized Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

gamer2 · Post by **gamer2** » Mon Oct 15, 2007 7:56 pm

When Ben porablizes another N64, it won't be because he likes Nintendo. It will be because he has run out of Ataris.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Ben lives in Wisconsin.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Ben pajamas.