funny sayings/jokes you guys have.

[lifeisbetterwithketchup]

A hen went into a library and (making a clucking noise that sounded like) "book" was given a book by the librarian. The next day the hen went back and said "book, "book" and the librarian gave two books over. The next day the hen said "book", "book," book", "book" and was given four books. The next day the librarian asked ho come the hen could read so quickly, the hen replied saying that back at the farm a frog is very sick and in bed; every time she gave the frog a book to help pass the time, the frog kept saying "read it", "read it", "read it".

I've heard a variation on that one before. Good stuff.

[AfroLH]

Well at my school there is this kid who we like to screw around with so one day this conversation happened:

Person 1: Hey person 2, what does your dad do for a living?
Person 2: He works in a...
1: Really? Cause I heard he was a Butt Pirate.
Me: HAHAHAHAHA. Yeah isn't it the family business?
1: HAHAHAHAH
2: Stop dude.

Then we make various pirate sayings that could mean other things.
The best one was: Watch out! His ship is covered in Sea Men!!!!
It caused epic Lulz.

Now every time we see him we say:
"Ahoy thar, Person 2!"

[eagle5953]

Earlier music joke reminded me of some of my favorites:

How many clarinet players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but she'll look at every single one in the box before deciding.

What does the average drummer get on his ACT?
Drool.

How do you get a music major off your porch?
Pay for the pizza.

How many conductors does it take to change a lightbulb?
No one knows - no one is ever watching.

[nevermind1534]

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? Three. One to hold the lightbulb, two to turn the ladder.

[lifeisbetterwithketchup]

[themadhacker]

once at school somebody said to a friend "it's hard to pull out of your driveway."
The friend replied by saying, "it's hard to pull out of your mom!"

[thewise1]

Sometimes those your mom jokes really work. I was putting stuff into my backpack at school and I said I wish I didn't have to pack it in. Then my friend says. "You're mom packs it in!"
Funny stuff.

I got another one, say the punch line fast

What are the Mario bros pants made out of?

denim,denim,denim

I don't get it...

Remember the music of world 2 in the original mario game?

[eagle5953]

I got another one, say the punch line fast

What are the Mario bros pants made out of?

denim,denim,denim

I don't get it...

Remember the music of world 2 in the original mario game?

I think you mean World 1, Level 2 (1-2). *turns red for geeking out*

I got a lot better at the original SMB when I had 15 minute breaks at work... I now consistantly beat it in 11 or 12 minutes. Best time for SMB3 was 26 minutes.

[doctorjames]

I just remembered some funny things me and my friends do:

We often talk by using lyrics from Soulja Boy's "Crank it". We hate the song, but it makes it even more funny. Also, instead of saying "You" or "Do", we often say "YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!" or "NOW WATCH ME DOOOOOOOOO".

Speaking of Soulja Boy...

Q: Who is Soulja Boy's best friend?

A: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!

It's not that great but there is a teacher at my school who tells it like 5 times a day so I figured I should spread my frustration haha

[robm]

My head would likely explode from having a teacher who would think of using that as a joke.

That has to suck.

[doctorjames]

Ya, I'm so glad I don't have him for a class.

I really feel bad for people who have him haha

[SonyPortableizer]

Denim denim denim, 50 jokes in 4 minutes?
Theyr such great videos.
Comedian: What car did jesus drive?
Audience: A rolls royce, time car, or a hover car? I dont know
Comedian: Well he was uneducated, lived in the middle east, and didnt speak english
Comedian: He probably drove a taxi cab
Audience/me: (Dont agree with his views, but its a funny joke)

[XCVG]

I got another one, say the punch line fast

What are the Mario bros pants made out of?

denim,denim,denim

I don't get it...

Remember the music of world 2 in the original mario game?

I think you mean World 1, Level 2 (1-2). *turns red for geeking out*

I got a lot better at the original SMB when I had 15 minute breaks at work... I now consistantly beat it in 11 or 12 minutes. Best time for SMB3 was 26 minutes.

Oh I get it, when you go down the pipe.

[sgtpepper]

Oh I get it, when you go down the pipe.

Not quite, think about when you actually start 1-2, starting from when Mario falls through the hole in the ceiling

[palmertech]

It sounded like the pipe to me.